Many times, we find ourselves in relationships we are not comfortable in but we always find ourselves stuck in these relationships regardless. Such relationships are toxic to us as humans and if nothing is done, they might lead to a disaster we won’t be able to manage. It is only a matter of time.
It is important we understand that relationships in this context do not only mean romantic relationships, it extends to friendship and mentorship. What defines a toxic relationship is not necessarily the people. Rather the things they do, say and ignore. A toxic relationship in simple terms, refers to any relationship that is harmful to a person.
As much as you hold no power to their thoughts, you should be conscious of identifying the kind of relationship you may be investing in. How do you identify a toxic relationship? This question seems rather complex but it is simple and this is because we see the signs almost every time and despite that we admit these actions are harmful to us, we are too attached to these people that it becomes difficult to let them go. However, for you to be independent and successful, certain people, attitudes, relationships and association must go for it. Never ignore the actions or attitudes in relationships that make it harmful for a healthy stay. Some of these can be found in selfish partners, possessive partners, authoritative partners, hypocritical partners and discouraging partners. They may seem alike, but but they are all different and dangerous.
Selfish Partners are the most common of the harmful lots and they exist in both romantic and non romantic relationships. Selfish, here, means it is one person who does the job in the relationship and it is this one person who gives and makes sacrifices in that relationship. The resultant effect is that it DRAINS. It creates a loss and emptiness even when there is abundance of other things. If you find yourself in a relationship that does not add to you financially, intellectually or spiritually, you need to evaluate it. Don’t misunderstand me, it is not wrong to be generous or to help people, but every relationship is a ship you cannot afford to sail alone.
Possessive Partners are also quite common, especially in romantic relationship where the partner wants to be the only one in the other partner’s life. A partner simply wants to be the only one in the life of his/her significant other. In order to achieve this, they try to detach their partners physically and psychologically from other people, so they can have them to themselves alone. Most times however, it is born out of unhealthy jealousy and lack of trust for the other party. The mistake most people make is that they misconstrue this for love but there is a difference between protection and possession and you have the sole right to determine who to associate with and who not to. One important thing to know is that you are meant for the world and not for a person. Your blessings will never fly from the sky but will come in handy through people. Associate with people who will encourage positive thoughts around you and run from relationships that will shut people out of your life.
Join Wura next week on Singles and Hooked for the concluding part of “Toxic Relationships”