Before I DO
“Love! Wedding! Marriage!. The joy, fantasy and reality of mankind.”
Being in love is one of the most amazing feeling that will tickle the fancy of any MAN. I mean, any true lover can attest that tying the knot with the one we love makes the day super remarkable in our lives; alongside the aura of spending the rest of our lives with this person. What better gift could one ask from Mother nature.
But, this is not the subject discuss, the real discuss is not a person’s response to this feeling called love. It is the art of love itself. What if love does not have an actual definition? What if it is simply defined by the occasional view we choose to look at it from.
We have seen many couples who started so in love but end up in disasters. We have seen young marriages crash in the twinkle of an eye. All of these make us have mixed feelings about this beautiful thing called love. We are stuck, trying to understand how possible it is to hate someone we have loved all our lives. We want to get married to the one we love but we are scared of taking the bold step.
No one can explain or define love, it is personal. No one can state specifically the kind of woman to love, it is also personal. You can’t decide who to have a soft spot for but you can decide who to spend the rest of your life with; because at the end of the day, love feeds on what is true. Certain people are good to love but unhealthy to act farther than loving them. Many people will make good friends but disastrous life partners. Not every girl you love is meant to be your wife, certain things should be present before you walk down the aisle. A couple must connect and connection here goes beyond what you feel, it extends to what you should look out for.
There are four main important connections every couple should look out for. In these four lie several underlining factors and features.
PHYSICAL COMPATIBILITY: We would be lying to ourselves if we don’t admit that most relationships start with attractions and it is important for every couple to be physically attracted to their partner. Attraction here does not necessarily mean the body; it could be the eyes, the words, the lips, the abs and many more. There must be something that melts you when you see your partner; something you don’t want to ever lose. Physical attraction here also means the connection of the body. As a couple, you should be sexually connected to your partner. You should have the urge to want to touch her and lay beside her forever. Let’s get something straight guys, this isn’t to encourage pre-marital sex or lust but sex is a vital ingredient in marriage. Some of the marriages of today fail because the couples pay little attention to their sex life and before they know what is happening, their partner is having it somewhere else. An attraction can be lust, a crush or genuine admiration and likeness. All of these will not poise a problem until the people involved bring them into life. As individuals, we should be able to define the kind of attraction we have for our partners. Do I just want to have sex with her? Am I just attracted to her body? Will I want to have that body for the rest of my life? These are some of the questions we should ask ourselves before going further in the relationship
EMOTIONAL CONNECTION: This has over time become the most complicated of it all because people feel something for a person but they cannot explain how or what they feel. Well, since love doesn’t have a definition, we cannot affirm for a person what he/she feels for his/her partner. Yet, to have a lasting relationship, the partners should be able to identify if they just have a sexual connection with a person or they really feel something special for that person. In most cases, emotions come effortlessly especially among close friends. When you have someone you talk to everyday and minute, emotion is inevitable; but you should be able to draw lines on your emotions. Building emotions isn’t wrong but understand what your emotions is tied to. It is the easiest to grow and quickest to die. Regardless, it is important that a couple feel something special and different for themselves. They must have built their emotions over time. They should have gone through circumstances that have tested their feelings for each other before they admit they are in love. This is the connection of the soul and when all fails, this is what should stand. Therefore, it is important that to hold it in utmost sensitivity, because at the end, emotions that are rushed end up in disaster.
Attraction and Feeling are not all that make up a relationship; for at the end of the day, it is not the love that sustains the promise but the promise that sustains the love.
Watch out next weeks as Wura shares with you the other key connections to take note of