Hey friends, you remember our last chat on the key ingredients for a healthy relationship? You remember we stated that love and commitment are two of the ingredients that we need? Let’s look into some of the other ingredients needed to make our relationships healthy.
UNDERSTANDING: Let’s get this straight, a relationship that is void of understanding is on the verge of breaking. This doesn’t undermine the place of love and commitment, but I have seen many couples who are in love, still dealing with unhealthy relationships because they can’t seem to understand each other. The truth is, we all have our differences, and that’s fine, because we are humans. We all have our flaws, and that’s fine too because no one is perfect. But, what makes a good couple is the ability to embrace these differences and flaws in love and understanding. As a matter of fact, this stands as one of the major reasons I subscribe to friendship before relationships, because you get to realize a lot of things in that period of friendship, and you have the opportunity to decide if you want to start the journey with that person. Truth be told, we cannot deal with the flaws and differences of everybody, but it is important that we consider if we can deal with that of our partner, before we decide to take that step together. Beyond that, it is important to understand our partners’ job, mood, temparement, excesses, likes, dislikes etc, because of all these help in building understanding among partners. For example, you know your partner works in an office that takes his time till later in the night, and you keep getting angry because he doesn’t talk to you for hours during the day. This is a pure lack of understanding from your side which can become tiring after a while, and although we know disagreements are inevitable, it is in our place to manage it
TRUST: Let’s start with this; Never get into a relationship with someone you can’t trust, because one of the quickest ways to ruin a beautiful relationship, is being quick to judging one’s partner, without giving him/her the benefit of a doubt. What most untrusting partners fail to realize is that, not many people are happy with their happy relationships, and they are looking for a way to leverage on their inability to trust their partnners. Don’t fall victim. For some, they hide under the shadow of previous heartbreaks and relationships, while some even get to the extent of saying they cannot trust anyone again. Let’s be sincere, it is absolutely unfair to punish an innocent man or woman for the offence of someone they never knew existed. Don’t leverage on being sensitive, because there is a difference between sensitivity and lack of trust. Few others hide under the shadow of love and unhealthy jealousy, when in actual fact, the problem lies in their inability to trust their partners. In all friends, always learn to give your partner the benefit of a doubt, regardless of the situation at hand.
SACRIFICE: The reason some people might never be able to maintain any relationship is because they are too selfish to have a duo. In any relationship, the two parties must be equally involved because relationships feed on equal responsibiliy. It is impossible to expect so much from a partner you cannot give too much too. The essence of a relationship is to be able to change and adopt certain atitudes that your partner seems unbearable. The mistake some people make is that, they relax too much, thinking it is the duty of their partner to understand them, whereas, it doesn’t work that way. In as much as your partner wants to undertand your excesses, you must be willing to curb these excesses, in order to reach a balance. For example, in the case of a partner understanding your schedule, you should take it as a point of duty to create time for your partner, because any relationship that is one-sided is often toxic. In addition, a relationship gives you an additional responsibility, which makes it very important that you consider the feelings of your partner, before taking any decision.
COMMUNICATION: This is the fuel that drives other ingredients, because it is on this, that others pull out. Communication is one of the most important ingredients needed for a healthy relationship because it doesn’t dwell on asumptions. When the communication in a relationship is great, it gives room for understanding and trust. Most times, all a person needs to settle that difference is a good talk with his partner, most times, all a person needs to keep his relationship moving is a short conversation and most times, all a person needs to save his relationship from breaking, is a simple apology. Most people take the power of communication for granted, and usually, the first sign of a dying relationship is lack of communication. It is no big deal if you express yourself to your partner when he/she offends you because you might get to realise things are not the way you interpreted them. It is not a sin to express your love to your partner frequently, because, sometimes, he/she only needs a re-assurance. Always learn to talk to your partner often, talk about your feelings for each other, the ways you’ve hurt each other, things you don’t like, your goals, future, jobs, challenges, where your relationship is headed, etc. All of these and more breed friendship and a deeper connection between the duo.
Alright friends, I hope you enjoyed yourselves reading this, and I hope this would help in making your relationship as healthy as always?
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