I loved him, maybe I still do. I wanted him, maybe I still do. But, there was too much for us to take in, too much that threatened our love for each other and our relationship. Our culture was against us, families didn’t want us together and at some point, we felt the only people who wanted us was US. Well, maybe that’s all that matters anyway, right? The thoughts of him still makes me smile, his memories still linger as every thought of him births a happy feeling. The feeling that still makes my heart shiver with desire.
I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts.
There was a problem, that problem meant one thing, I couldn’t be with him. I still ponder on the last moments with him, especially the day I broke up. I saw tears well up in his eyes and I could see how he allowed them flow down his cheeks without fighting them. I closed my eyes in fear as he hit his fists against the wall, in anger and hurt. I moved closer to him to explain, to let him know I was also hurting, but, he would not listen to me. He just turned and left, never to return.
I lost him, not because I wanted to, but, I had to do what I thought was right. I am older than him, and everyone made me understand it is impossible to be with him for this reason.
I keep asking myself if it is possible to love without restrictions, if it is possible for a woman to be in love with a younger man and be happily married to him.
Sometimes, I get to think the problem is the man ego thing. Like, it is hard for a man to settle down with a woman who is older than he is, because he feels he won’t be in charge of his relationship. See guys, let’s get this straight, you being in charge of your relationship has nothing to do with the girl. You need to be on top of your game! Now, this is not about being authoritative or unnecessarily domineering, it is about being the man of the house. The truth is, she doesn’t have to be younger than you to be submissive, any girl you decide to be with should be able to give you the respect you deserve as the man in her life.
Ladies, you need to let down whatever ego you have built within you. Madame, you saw that he was younger when you decided to be with him, wetin be your problem abeg? Your man remains your man, regardless of his age and it is enough that he has set aside his ego to be with you. If you think you can only be submissive to an older man, go for him. Don’t get me wrong, submission is not the same as folly or slavely, it is you regarding your partner. Never let a man take advantage of that! If you cannot deal with any man you are with, just let him go, instead of rubbing it in his face. Always know that, every man wants his ego rubbed, don’t be the one to smash your man’s.
Regardless of all these, we have our culture which has been a major issue. A culture where many things are seen as barbaric, yet cannot be defended. We have believed too many things that we do not understand ourselves. I am not saying we should rebel against culture, I am saying it is time we looked more deeply into things rather than what our fathers have made us believe. If you can handle a relationship, regardless of the culture, go for it and be happy. At the end, what matters most is YOU!
Most importantly, understanding is crucial. Get a partner that understands your highs and lows, your strengths and weaknesses, your beauty and flaws. If you both can connect regardless, age becomes insignificant.
Above all,understand that, if love is all there is to a happy home, we won’t have broken marriages.
Love dearly but Think deeply.
Okay friends, Wura just shared her opinion. Let’s talk about something else. Guys, would you allow your friend date your sister? Girls, can you date your brother’s friend?
Share your thoughts. Wura will be here next week to share hers
WURA LOVES YOU!