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15 Mar

Public Display of Affection

I’m worried..
There seem to be just one thing we can’t get to connect with despite being the favorite of many. And every time, issues like this come up, I hear the same words; like “If you are not cheating on me, it won’t be a big deal”. At first, it sounded funny, that I laughed out so loud, our neighbours had to come knocking my door to be sure I was fine, but, now, I think she is damn serious about the whole thing. Truth is, I am super proud of my woman. She has the most beautiful eyes ever and the most amazing smile. Her smile brightens my disturbed mind, her lips feeds my hungry soul, her eyes take me to miles into the wonderland of beauty, her words brightens my dampened sprit. She is an epitome of beauty and an agent of peace. I am proud of her and I always will be, but, I don’t think we have to flaunt ourselves on social media or kiss ourselves in public to depict how precious we mean to each other. Yet, she makes me question if our love and trust in the relationship is based on Public Display Of Affection?
Well, my opinion of it, is that PDA is highly subjective to perspective and it is neither right nor wrong. Its excesses and limits are highly influenced by the partners in such relationships. I understand that some people like PDAs because they share the opinion that it sets boundaries for persistent suitors of their partners or to chase prospective suitors off their partners. Howwever, the twist many do not understand is that, hovering around your partner or advertising him/her on social media does not chase away the desperate ones. As a matter of fact, it might be a reason for them to push harder, and you will realise that your partner is the only one who can set these boundaries.
Another major misuse of PDA is that some people use it to measure love and trust in the relationship. Like they believe, their partner is not proud of them or is cheating because he doesn’t like PDA. Let me burst your bubbles darling, you can be his/her everyday display picture and he is stilll fucking another woman. It might even be your friend you know? So don’t be fooled. You should understand that we all express our feelings in different ways and the fact that your partner is not the show off time doesn’t mean he loves you less. He just likes being private. You dig?
The fear of some people who avoid PDA is a break up. They tend to ask themselves several questions that rally around what happens after the break up, or what people will say about it, or if they have to start deleting the pictures after the break up? Let’s pick it from here, in as much as life can be very unpredictable, it is very disrespectful of you to have a negative mindset towards your relationship. I mean, why would you think you will break up with your partner, even before you both have started dating, why would you even accept to date someone you don’t see a future with? You should understand that relationships are for mature people with independednt minds, which means, external opinion should not limit your medium of expression towards your partner. Being with someone requires loving without boundaries and expression without restrictions. You should be more interested in enjoying your every minute with him/her and if life happens to you both, you act based on your discretion. You should just bear in mind that you are not responsible to anyone’s opinion but yourselves.
Also, some people carry a certain notion that publicly displayed relationships tend to break early because of the invasion of external factors. My people, the power to make or mar your relationship relies solely on you and you flaunting him/her has nothing to do with the longetivity of your relationship. You can keep your relationship private and you will still break up and you can flaunt it and be together for a lifetime. All is dependent on the effort being put into building the relationship. As a matter of fact, PDA can sometimes serve as a check and balance for either partner.
Regardless, respect the opinion of your partner. Some people are extremely discreet about their lives and relationships, while some others feel the best way to express their feelings is through flaunting it. None is wrong but you have to be able to understand what your partner likes and what what he/she doesn’t. In situatons where one party likes and the other doesn’t, you both should be able to reach a point of mutual comfortability and acceptability. However, in situations where the partner who used to like it suddenly doesn’t, you should take time to understand why, and not be conclusive about it. The most expensive gift you can give your partner is to love and trust him/her unconditionally.
In all, do what makes ONLY you happy. Do what you like to do, but, with a plain mind and without ulterior motives. If you like to flaunt your partner, enjoy yourself. If you like to be private, enjoy yourself still.
At the end of it all, What matters is YOU AND YOUR PARTNER!

Wura

Wura

Wura is an inquisitive and outspoken young lady who is definitely not your average, regular girl. She is a writer who likes to have fun. This is her personal space, her canvas and most interestingly, her gossip place. She's your everyday gist partner.

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Comment (5)
Itunu olusoji
March 15, 2018

Understanding is the key word…….

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adedotun
March 15, 2018

Well said!

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Femzy
March 16, 2018

My first reading… Impressive sweetheart.

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