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11 May

How To Spite My Ex

I loved him. I trusted him. I adored him. What more could a man ask for? I am hardworking. I am prayerful. I am industrious. Isn’t that the prayer of every partner? I felt like he was all I ever wanted, all I ever prayer for and all I ever wished for. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I wasn’t, maybe I still am.

I fell in love with him in my second year in school, and although I knew I was too young for a relationship, I wanted to act without reasoning and love without thinking. Four years down the line, we were still in love, despite the differences between us. I just felt, we were meant to be. I mean, wouldn’t you feel that way too?

One cozy evening, I decided to surprise my man and guess what? I was surprised instead. I opened the door to his house, as I had a spare key and headed straight to his room to drop my bag. I had branched the market on my way there as I had pictured how romantic the evening would go. “I would make his favorite meal of Rice, vegetable and plantain before he comes” I thought to myself. I know how surprise gets to him.
I opened the door to his room and they looked up in shock. Of course they weren’t expecting anyone, the same way, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone.
There he was, on the bed, making love to me best friend.

Should I hate him? Should I hate her? Should I forgive them? Should I move on?
Those were some of the questions that kept ringing in my head as I left his house that evening and I know there are so many people out there,  who are yet to find answers to these questions too. No doubt, not all relationships have ended up badly, but, for the ones which have, how do you feel about your past partners?
It is understandable that you are hurt, disappointed, broken or even angry. The question is, is it enough to despise your ex or even go to the length of spiting them?
The mistake people make is that, they act based on emotions and forget rationality. If you ask me, there are several ways you can spite your ex without being bitter. As a matter of fact, you can unconsciously spite your ex.
Did I hear someone say it’s not possible? Let’s look at this together.

One secret many don’t know is that forgiveness is the easiest way to spite anyone who has hurt you. I mean, they are expecting you to be bitter and hate them, some of them are even prepared to keep malice with you. To their surprise, you stop by one day to say hello to them, or they get a job referral and it is from you. Trust me,  it breaks even the strongest hearts. I guess some people have decided never to have anything to do with their exes again. Well, no one is saying you should accept them back into your lives or be friends with them, rather, the point here is, forgiving someone who has hurt you is the quickest way to wound their souls, ‘cos the guilt will frustrate them. It’s okay to be angry, but, it’s healthy to let go. In the end, you have peace, knowing you hold no bitterness.

Also, SUCCESS is another great tip to spitting your ex. Mind you, success here means success all round including marital success. Your success will send cold down the spine of your exes. They will realise what they have lost, losing you. They will wish they never did in the first place and your value becomes indescribable. In fact, some of them will come crawling at your feet.
It is important you grow with the mentality that every heartbreak you get makes you refined. Let your achievement make your ex feel like a loser. Hey you, dont let your success be attached to you hating on anyone, else it won’t last. It is okay if they pushed you to your place of success, but don’t them be your reason.
In the end, you will realise that the best and only way to spite your ex is to BUILD yourself.
You don’t have to be BITTER, you just have to be BIGGER!

what’s your opinion on this?
Have a chat with Wura

#WURA CARES

Wura

Wura

Wura is an inquisitive and outspoken young lady who is definitely not your average, regular girl. She is a writer who likes to have fun. This is her personal space, her canvas and most interestingly, her gossip place. She's your everyday gist partner.

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Comment (35)
Yetunde
May 11, 2018

Very good one Ma

Reply
Adeyemo mercy
May 11, 2018

I agree with all you said I actually did that to my ex too

Reply
Chris Onems
May 11, 2018

It’s a great one I must say it would go a long way to help a whole lot of people who think otherwise….. nice one dearie…..#sweetflows

Reply
ChiDubem Michael
May 11, 2018

Dear Wura, nice article you have there. I enjoyed it while I was reading. Apparently, I took notes of some points. Then, if you’re talking of forgiveness, not been bitter; rather get bigger and fulfilled (success), would there be need for spitefulness? Isn’t better to completely forget the past whether or not the ex would be accepted back, and face the future (blessings and greater things that lies ahead)? Or should the past influence the future?

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Fisayo
May 11, 2018

You spoke my thoughts out in this beautiful write-up. Awesome !

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