Art Thy Bae’s Bae?
I really do not know where to start from. All I know is that I have seen better days. Ironically, if this over hyped biological clock of a thing has taught me anything, it is that God’s time is the best. So until Mr Right finally decides to show up, I’d be here chilling on my grind and prepping to be the best better half I can be.
Think of any kind of guy you can possibly imagine, I have met his clone and worse. All manner of men. Ranging from the block-headed blokes to the I don’t do relationships guy to the control freak to the mamma’s boy to the imperfect gentleman and then the suave player. Right when I thought my man hunt had found its way into the memory lane, I realized I’m nowhere but back at the very point I started: square one!
Couple of years back, I met this very fine young man on one of the few social media platforms I belong to, we got talking and he became an acquaintance in no time. As we got to know each other better, I realized we hail from and grew up from the same city, have a couple of mutual friends and have a lot of things in common. I really did not think anything was going to come out of it as he was not residing in my side of the world at the time. A while after we got talking, my phone crashed and now I wish I did not replace it.
Fast forward about a year after, I received a call from an unknown individual who turned out to be Nicanor. By then, I had completely forgotten about him and I was surprised and excited when he told me he was in town. We hooked up that weekend and I must say he’s a lot finer in person.
He happened to be this very tall, dark, handsome, well-mannered and eloquent gentleman. He was the first of my virtual friends that I met in person and I wasn’t disappointed. Thereafter, we chatted occasionally till we gradually started chatting every minute. He became the best of my virtual friends and subconsciously, I started talking about him a whole lot. Vicky asked me what was up with both of us and I coyly told her we were just friends. She told me she did not see any reason why just a friend should rent so much space in my head and she hopes this does not end up to be one of my numerous stories that touch the heart.
Nick and I kept being friends for months unend and this guy did not say ANYTHING. So I did what I normally do whenever I find myself in this kind of situation. I got over him whilst we still talked on a daily basis. That horrible period of time you have to get over someone you never dated. I still do not know how I get to do that whenever the need arises but trust me, it is one of the best gifts God has deposited in me. I got over him and in less than a month, I found myself in a short situationship with Ayo.
I told Nick about Ayo shortly after we started dating and this coldness came from him. We rarely talked and I missed my friend. Months passed and I did not feel a thing for my very clueless boyfriend, so rather than waste both of our time, I nipped it in the bud.
Nick and I started talking again and this time, he told me he would like to be out of the friend zone because he liked me. Though he did not declare his intention, a part of me felt he finally crawled out of his because he did not expect me to go ahead and date someone else. Then again, Vicky told me to use my head and my reply was “I love my place in his heart”. If and only if one could chew their words!
By this time we were already very fond of each other or so I thought and things were really going on very fine till the morning I woke up to a very large, bitter dose of reality. Sanzy woke me up with countless pings and a picture asking me to confirm if it was my Nick or not. I confirmed his identity and yes, he was on her little cousin’s case too. I was mad, then in denial, then calm till I went blank. I walked into Vicky’s room looking like a homeless and starved church rat. She asked me what the problem was and I simply blurted “Nick is a player”. With that I told you so look that I detest so much on her face, she scoffed, smirked and replied me with the coldest matter of factly “oh, so you are just knowing?” I foolishly slow mo-ed back to my room to continue that very long chat with Sanzy. The conversation did nothing but leave us both with the same questions on our minds. “Why is he leading Beatrice and me on?” “How many other ladies are there on the list?”
I thought and thought for several hours and as insensate as it may sound, Nicanor was the only person I wanted to talk to. I eventually did speak with him and need I say I was more offended than befuddled when he confirmed my speculations. Yes, I wasn’t the only lady he was kicking it with and as if to console me, he added “but you are the only one I’m serious with”. I felt like giving him a terrible knock on the head. Did he expect me to expect him to say “oh, you are indeed the least favourite cattle in the flock”?
Pained as I was, I was at least glad about the fact that he did not lie. Weird right? I guess he knows how much it disgusts me when people lie. Somewhere in my head, it was going to be the end of whatever it was we were or had if he lied to me about what I asked and for the first time in my entire life; I allowed my emotions becloud my sense of judgement. I actually had a good time laughing at myself as I made excuses for him. I mean, it is not like we are in a relationship or anything. The fact that I did not allow myself think of the possibilities of him talking to other ladies does not exactly mean he would not.
If this and the ones before it have taught me anything, it would be to learn to keep my eggs in as many baskets as possible. It has taught me that in as much as I have to keep hearts in the game of cards; my heart has to be completely left out of it. It has taught me to dance in the rain rather than wait for the storm to be over. It has taught me that the heart cannot but want what it wants, that is why the brain is there for checks and balances. Ultimately, it has taught me to explore every possible opportunity. Life is too short to put it on hold for anybody’s sake. Moral of this entire story, know your place in people’s lives and act accordingly.
My name is Oluwadamilola, I am single and tired of searching.
WRITTEN BY OLADOYINBO DAMILOLA