Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they are not shining
Her hair, her hair,
Falls perfectly without her trying
She’s so beautiful
My heart skipped for a minute, with the song playing in the background synchronizing with the thoughts in my head and the words in my heart. I had just seen one of the hottest and maybe the most beautiful girls around. There was something about her that caught my attention and I could bet this thing she has or had would keep me attracted to her for a very long time.
That moment, I completely forgot I just proposed to my girlfriend of three years.
I guess she noticed I could not take my gaze off her and from her reaction; it was not the first time she would be stared at that way. “She was used to the admiration maybe” I thought to myself. Just then, she smiled at me and I was taken completely off-guard. Maybe a coincidence or maybe nature was in support of this fast rising affection, I heard the lyrics of the song say
And when she smiles,
The whole world stops and stares for a while…
While I was still digesting the beauty her smile carried, she moved close to me and stretched her hand for a handshake. As I returned the gesture, I knew within myself that my emotion has just been tempered with.
Till barely a month to my wedding, with the attraction growing daily, I was forced to ask myself if it is possible to be in love with two people. But then, I realized that;
Truthfully, it is almost impossible to control how our emotions run, but we are in charge of what we do with our emotions. The first thing to always have at the back of our minds when getting into relationships is that a relationship is a conscious decision to be with a person. It doesn’t mean he/she is the most beautiful or hottest man/woman in the world, but you have decided to see her in that light. Therefore, you will definitely come across more beautiful and more attractive people, but your responsibility to your relationship is to snap you out of such emotions, because it is the feelings that we allow that get to us. The mistake most of us make is that we have a fantasized picture of how we want our partners to be, but when we helplessly fall in love with someone who doesn’t fit into that picture, we begin to whet out appetites with people who fit into that picture.
The smartest thing to do at that point, is to sit back and point out the things that getting you attracted to that person. Then, look at how you can inbibe it in your partner. It is essential that you communicate your feelings and need per time. Don’t assume he or she knows.
Have you ever considered molding our partners into that picture we want? For example, if you like a partner who dresses well, build your partner into having a good dress sense. If you enjoy going to the clubs to have fun, introduce your partner to clubbing with you etc. Now, this is not to undermine the place of understanding because you must have seen your partner that way, before you decided to be with that person, it means there is something deeper and stronger that is keeping you connected to him/her.
The flip side to it however is that you might be sincerely tired of your relationship and in dire need to get out of it. But, you must be sure that, it is really what you need at the time, because many people run out of relationships for situations and problems that they can fix. Some also, find this new attraction as an escape route from their relationship. The tragedy there is that, you don’t know what you are going to meet with this new person. You might just have regrets
Regardless, many people lose a beautiful relationship because they are insensitive to the needs of their partner and or because they take their understanding for granted. It is important that you keep the spark in your relationship and you constantly and intentionally wet the appetite of your partner. You need to always do that thing that thrills your partner, in order to spice up your relationship because we tend to get tired of things and people we are used to.
That means, you have to always MAKE YOUR PARTNER COME BACK FOR MORE!