My Love and My Fears
The doctor began to loosen the stitches, he untied the threads and cleaned up her wounds. “Hey honey, you’ll be fine” he said. She smiled faintly and a tear dropped from her left eye. “You’re really strong, really really strong” the nurse whispered softly into her ears. How did she get here? Where was she?
Maggie was a twenty-two year old fashion designer who had struggled all through her life just to go through her secondary and university level. Times were really hard and her days were moving faster than she could imagine. The only thing she had that were so expensive were her unbreakable dreams and visions. She knew deep down in her heart that some day soon, she would acquire all she needed to set her goals in place. Maggie never knew love from a man all through her years, she only kissed one boy in school. She had the fear of men for she thought, “men are dream rippers, they will come and take away your dreams through your legs” these were the words of her grandmother who had raised her after she lost both parents in an accident. She was indeed beautiful with a sparkling skin, lips and eyes bold enough to be noticed.
“Hey, hey, hi” Maggie heard these words from a voice she felt she had heard before. She turned, she couldn’t stop staring at this masculine figure who looked like the man in her dreams. Maggie was really a dreamer, she lived most of her life in her dreams, she had imaginations stronger than her reality. Sometimes she was a princess, sometimes a superhero, sometimes a president. “Hi, I’m Joel” She kept blinking as he told her his name. “Oh, oh hi I’m Maggie” she replied. “Yes, I know, your identity card fell off back there and I kept calling out to you but I guess you were lost in thoughts” he said. “Oh really, I’m so sorry I couldn’t hear you” she replied and stretched her hand and collected the card “thank you”. She smiled. “So, I see you’re a tailor?” He said pointing at the fabrics in her hands. “No, fashion designer, I draw and create, I have someone else who sows” she answered. She couldn’t stop smiling. Like she had never seen someone so beautiful in human form asides from the angels in her dreams. “Do you mind if I have your number, to keep in touch” he asked. “Oh sure no problem” she said as he placed her number into his phone.
When Maggie entered her shop, she started thinking about the angel she met. He finally gave her a call few minutes after and asked her on a date. After a few dates, she decided to tell him yes. Maggie finally had a boyfriend, Maggie finally gave herself to someone. Months passed and she found joy unlike any other day of her life but this joy was soon to come to an end. Maggie had neglected her job, she was so into the relationship she began to dress differently, talk differently, act differently. Joel was the only thing in her head and she gave it her all, just to make sure this worked out. One morning, she took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. At first she was excited, really really excited but Joel’s reaction towards her news was shocking “that thing is not mine! Get rid of it!” She has never seen so much rage in him, so much anger. All of a sudden, the love she felt he had for her had changed, her angel became a demon.
Maggie loved Joel and didn’t want to lose him, “if this child is to come between I and the love of my life, I won’t let it be” four, five, six times now she killed every child just to keep Joel. The seventh time she went to the hospital, her doctor decided to tell her a few things “Miss, I don’t think I can allow you keep doing this to yourself, why exactly do you keep coming back here?” He asked. “Doctor Alex, Joel doesn’t want a child, if I want him then I don’t need this child, he’s going to leave me, I can’t be alone, no one else can love me” Maggie answered. “Listen to me miss, for the past five years you’ve been coming to my hospital I have grown a soft spot for you and I can’t keep allowing you do this to yourself. He’s abusing you by allowing you go through this. What does he give you? Tell me, talk to me, you can confide in me. You already have damages to your womb, one more and I’m sorry you can’t have another, keep this child please, there are a lot of people out there who can’t have kids, think about this please” he said. Maggie burst into tears, Joel was all she had, but this doctor just made her realize she can still be loved. She made up her mind to keep the child.
Maggie went on to challenge Joel “I am keeping this child and there is nothing you can do about it” Joel became aggressive and hit her on the face, he hit her severally. She began to bleed from every part of her body. The only time she finally opened her eyes, words flew into her ears as the florescent lights above her head almost blinded her “stay with me honey, stay with me” she closed her eyes. Now she’s back to the first scene, where the doctor cleaned her wounds. She closed her eyes shortly and opened them again. “You’ll be fine honey” Doctor Alex said. “Where’s he? Where’s Joel?” She asked faintly. “Hush now, don’t say a word, just close your eyes honey, close your eyes now and rest” When she closed her eyes and opened them, her phone was ringing, a strange number was calling her, she picked and said “hello?” And a man replied, “hi, this is Joel, the guy you Gave your number a few minutes ago”. She quickly cut off the line, looked at her drawing paper, touched her body, looked at the time, looked around and saw she was still in the shop, she had drooled all over her drawing paper. She took a deep breath, picked up her phone and called a number “Bestie, I just had a crazy dream”.
WRITTEN BY Otahumele Victory