Love And Genotype
“I love you, but I have to let you go”. Those were the most hurting words I had heard all my life. I cried like a baby and I couldn’t believe a grown man like me could cry so hard. “hard guy, hard guy; but I was madly in love with this woman who had just called our relationship quit. I couldn’t even get angry at her because I could see the sincerity in her actions and the genuineness in her face as she allowed her own tears to follow effortlessly. Someone had to be strong for us both and she chose to be.
Today, looking at her doing the whole running around at my wedding, I ask myself if she is genuinely happy, or seeing me move on is enough joy for her. Well, I am grateful she took that bold step, I am grateful I found love again and I am grateful we can still be friends regardless. Till date, many of my friends are still in awe of how we have been able to keep the friendship. To be sincere, it was not easy, but we both understood that if we truly loved each other, then, it was best we secured our future. Let me unravel the puzzle, we both were ‘AS” and we were already deeply into each other before we realized.
The issue of love, genotype and relationship has become very rampant these days and it is so painful, considering the number of Sickle Cell and Sickle sickness deaths being recorded by time.
Let’s start from the scratch; this whole buhaha can actually be avoided from the beginning. So, it is a beautiful thing to be in love and it is more beautiful when it is with the right person, but one of the things that should be considered along many others is genotype compatibility. Now, it is not excusable in 2019 for anyone to say he/she doesn’t know his/her genotype, so, if by any chance you do not know it, go to the nearest laboratory for a test. If you know it, make sure that the moment you are beginning to like a boy or a girl, you have that conversation to avoid stories that touch and control the feelings at an early stage.
For those who are already in it, it is understandable that you are in love and it is not entirely your fault that you are in a situation, but one question you should ask yourself is if you want to risk your peace or the health of your future kids for emotions?
Now, if you are already married, you can check the genotype of an unborn kid from 13 weeks and can terminate a fetus that is detected to be “SS or SC”. But, for those who are not married, how many pregnancies do you want to abort? What if you don’t have the opportunity to have another baby? Why cut a beautiful life short because of your selfishness? One thing that you should bear in mind is that, “prevention is better than cure.” Let’s play this little drama in our heads; imagine in another 30 years, we have a child we spend so much money on to pay hospital bills. A child who cries almost every day from excruciating pains and wishes he/she should die. A child who blames you for inflicting such pain on him/her. If this happens, would you still be glad you chose love over rationality?
Letting go will definitely hurt, but here are some of the things you can do to make it easier for you.
TALK ABOUT IT: one of the parties has to be stronger for the two of you. Make sure you both talk about it and are on the same page as to why it is important that it happens. It might hurt for a while, but you will surely grow over it.
LET OUT YOUR EMOTIONS: It is fine to cry if you have to, you can even scream. If you need to talk to someone, then that is also fine. But it is healthy that you don’t conceal your emotions, because the more you let it out, the easier it will be for you to let it go.
UNDERSTAND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU BOTH: For some people, they will need to give themselves space, while for some others, they will need to still be there for each other because the thoughts of not being with each other can hurt more. However, it is advisable to stay apart till you both can get a hold of your emotions, because, if you don’t, you might find out your hearts are yet to break up and moving on might seem impossible.
MOVE ON: This is about the hardest yet most necessary thing to do. You both need to move past your emotions and give your heart a space to love someone else. Trust me, you’d be glad you did.
Finally, try not to lose the friendship at the end of the day, because at the end, you both will be glad you made the right decisions..
Love is Beautiful but a wrong choice can make you question LOVE. Would you choose feelings over your future? Think about it