Handling Sexual Advances
“If a man say come, make we nack. You go reason, you go think say, I sure say I wan nack this guy? If you con gree say you wan nack am, you go con call the man, tell am say, I don gree say I go nack you. You no make me nack you. Na me talk say I go do am.” Lolo Cynthia
Those words kept ringing in my head as I stared at the man sitting in front of me, his eyes fixed to mine, waiting for an answer. I had walked into the company earlier that day with so much enthusiasm for my new client. I am an Account Officer in a prominent bank and my job is to get people to maintain their accounts in my bank and also keep it active. My new client is quite young, one of the youngest I have actually and I was somewhat excited when he called for a meeting. “He is going to be fun” I thought, since I believed younger men seem to be more adventurous in their thoughts and knowledge. I walked into his personal office in my black leather dress and my neon heels, beautifully accompanied with my neon bag. I bet I saw him sleep with me from the moment I entered into the office, but somehow, I told myself it wasn’t what I thought. A man like that would have any woman he wants, why would he want to choose me. To my not so surprise, he had no time to waste and told me once I was well settled in that he was interested in me and if I wanted him to maintain his account with my bank, I had to get down with him. I scoffed. He stared. I chuckled. He kept staring. I frowned. He didn’t care. Then, I asked why it had to be my body, why he couldn’t bargain with something else that could be of a better benefit, afterall my body was one time. He declined and said it had to be my body. I stared at him hard, so hard that I could feel him getting uncomfortable; then I said. “I could choose to have sex with you and I’d do it not because you have asked me to, but because I am attracted enough to want to have sex with you. I caught him smile, one he didn’t want me to notice. Then, I got up, picked my bag and told him “but I won’t. If you will still like to have an account with us, I’d be most willing to be at your service. Have a good day sir” I walked out of his office that day, feeling like a BOSS! I AM A WOMAN AND I MAKE MY CHOICES.
As a woman, it is not out of place to have sexual advances from men, but, there might be a problem with how those advances are handled. Most times, it is easy for a woman to handle advances from random guys or friends, but when it comes to men whom they are quite subject to, especially in situations in which they are stranded and they desperately need help from that guy in question, they are caught in the web.
To be honest, when caught up in such situations, it is important that you apply wisdom, because you must remember that you are at the “mercy” of the person in question and should be careful enough not to shoot yourself in the leg. In such situations,
LEARN HOW TO SAY NO: There is so much dignity in having the courage to say No when you have to. You are in charge of your life and you should be able to determine things that you want and things that you do not want based on your personal principles, wants and need. The mistake most women make is that they think saying “No” makes them rude or uncouth. Let me shock you, saying “No” makes you a Boss because every man respects a woman who can say No when the need arises. Truth is, you can be firm without being rude, you can say No without being uncouth. All you need to learn is the right approach and attitude in handling situations that requires you being firm and standing by what you want.
RE-NEGOTIATE: It will surprise you to find out that some people wouldn’t mind going for something else asides your body. We should understand that as humans, we have high tendencies of being selfish and some people are keen on getting personal benefit from whatever they choose to invest in. It is okay if they are myopic enough to think your body is the best offer they could get. However, you could do them a favor of opening their eyes as regards something better that could be benefited from that cause. As a business person, you must always have value placed on the table of your client, the kind of value that will make it almost impossible to let go of what you have brought to them.
WALK AWAY: No job is a do or die affair. Always have it at the back of your mind, that there is always a better offer out there and you are not stuck to whatever job that demands you selling yourself or your body for it. You are more valuable than any job whatsoever and if you are there because of your capability, no one deserves to make you feel less. Think about it, what is the worst that will happen? Is your body worth sacrificing for the worst? If No, carry your shoulder high and gracefully walk away. Something better is waiting outside that door baby.
TAKE RESPOSIBILITY: It is quite sad that we live in a society when culture undermines the power of a woman’s decision. If a man chooses to sleep with as many women as he wants, he is a “bad guy” but if a woman chooses to sleep with as many men as she dims fit, she is a hoe. Get off these biases and live your life the way you want to live it, the way it makes you happy. If you weigh your options and you think getting down with the man in question is a good offer for you, please do it. Mind you, the moment you make that option, don’t devalue yourself by claiming that the man made you do it. Take responsibility. Tell yourself that you did it because you chose to do it, because you make the decisions that partakes your life. Do it and have no regrets. Do it and don’t put the blame on anybody. TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR YOUR ACTIONS.
In all of these, this is not to give credit to the men who fall in this category or to make them feel like it is normal, because in actual sense, it shows such man is a COWARD! If as a man, you cannot shoot your shot without a threat attached to it, then you have no self-esteem. There is a lot attached to separating business from pleasure; you will grow as a man if you understand this.
Importantly, this might seem like it is about the women, but I understand that it happens to men too and the same logic apply to both.
Remember, you are more important than that person and that situation. Keep your mental state balanced regardless.
YOU ARE A BOSS! ACT LIKE ONE!!
INSPIRED BY LOLO CYNTHIA
WRITTEN BY wura