Long Distance Relationship


The excitement dropped, the communication sank and the friendship deteriorated. She has been my girlfriend for about two years and I can boastfully say my relationship with her has been my best so far. She just seemed to understand me and she was the best person in my corner until when I had to travel out of the country about a year ago. Well, the first two months were beautiful because we managed to keep up with ourselves despite the time difference between us. Sadly, it hasn’t been so recently and it seems we never agree on anything. It hurts to say this, but we are not working anymore. The question I am yet to find an answer to however, is if it is the distance that is ruining us or is there something we are not just doing right anymore?

No doubt, it is not totally easy to maintain a long distance relationship, but in its real sense, it is not as complicated and difficult as people pose it to be.
The first thing to bear in mind when getting into a distant relationship, is the DETERMINATION and zeal to make it work. In reality, for any relationship to work, whether short or long distance, determination is required. However, in dealing with the latter, the determination must be more intentional because your partner cannot always show you how they feel physically. You must understand that your major form of communication lies in your heart and you have to keep reminding yourself that your relationship has to work.
Another thing is COMMUNICATION and well- grounded FRIENDSHIP. The easiest way for any relationship to sink is lack of communication, because understanding and friendship is rooted in being able to communicate well. For people who get to see regularly, they have a privilege of spicing their relationships with few other things such as going out on dates and so on. For those in a long distance relationship however, your strength is building an unshakable friendship with your partner. Make talking to him/her a habit you will find appealing to yourself, because the more you get to talk about things, the easier it is for you to keep being in love with him/her.
Also importantly, you must TRUST your partner against all odds. People have grown with the terrible mindset of “Afterall I don’t know what he/she is doing there”. The reality is that your partner can be two houses from you and still cheat. It is not about where they are; it is about who they are. The question you should ask yourself is if you are in a relationship with a cheat. If yes, why did you get in the relationship with him/her. If no, why are you giving yourself a headache? Now, it is a different story if the person has failed your trust before; but even in cases like that, it is either you are in the relationship or not. You are only punishing yourself being in a relationship with someone you cannot trust.
The flip side to this is that, most people who actually have trust issues are the cheats themselves. So, you are most likely not going to trust your partner when you are not LOYAL to that person, because you will naturally think everyone is a cheat like you. This means that TRUST AND LOYALTY go hand in hand.
In all, remember you have the power to keep your relationship. Do not ruin a beautiful thing because you have chosen to give up on it

Wura is an inquisitive and outspoken young lady who is definitely not your average, regular girl. She is a writer who likes to have fun. This is her personal space, her canvas and most interestingly, her gossip place. She's your everyday gist partner.

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February 23, 2019 at 11:47 am

All written are factual, however it needs an additional element of truth which is the spirituality factor. Love is a spiritual feeling. It’s not tangible and so the only thing that can sustain is are not physical. Long distance relationship is a true test of loyalty and seriousness of love. Until you put a tea sachet in hot water, it can not brew the right flavour. If both lovers are able to survive the distant challenges of trust, communication misgivings etc, then their is higher chance of the marriage succeeding.

February 26, 2019 at 11:03 pm

Great write up. Love it. I haven’t seen my fiance for almost 2 years. But I am determined to make it work. Determination is key as you said. Many people have told me it will never work. I am happy I can prove them wrong. It is sad that most people have a pessimistic view towards it. Our generation does not like to wait for anything. We want everything at the tip our fingers. But I realise the distance has made us stronger over time. It could be difficult, yes but it’s possible. Preach it sis.

April 19, 2019 at 6:10 pm

Lovely write up ma. I have a question, what about two people who met through a mutual friend and all they do is chat online and sometimes call but they have not met physically. Also they leave in different countries. Would you advice such relationships? Because I know it’s always a different case when they both know each before they get separated.

    May 16, 2019 at 6:06 pm

    Hi Nkechi. There is no boundary or rule in love. However, it is important that you know who you are getting into a relationship with. It is not about the physical distance now, it is about having all your facts right before getting into such relationship.

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