HOW TO HANDLE A BREAK UP

I’m gonna love you, Like I’m gonna lose you

I’m gonna hold you, Like I’m saying goodbye…

For a serial bad boy like me, no one would have ever thought that it is a 23 year old girl that would break all my walls. I was head over heels in love with this girl and if not that I trust my mum’s prayers, I’d have said she jazzed me. She defined my perfection and to be honest with you, I promised myself she was going to be my last bustop. Goodbye to random flings, I had met the love of my life.

Two years into our relationship; I was 28 at the time, I knew it was time to put a ring on it, as she had also gotten a good job. You can tell that she was a young smart lad and oh yes! Freaking beautiful too. I spoke to my best friend and together, we went to get the ring, while we also mapped out how the proposal would look like. I had plans!

The next morning, I woke up admiring the beauty I had just bought and imagined it on the fingers of the woman who had stolen my heart. The thought of that alone made my heart race in excitement. I picked up my phone to call her and I realized my best friend had called me severally “Why this guy dey call me for early morning?” I thought to myself and went straight to Whatsapp to ask why he was calling. There, I got the greatest shock of my life! It was a pre-wedding picture and a copy of a wedding IV. My own girlfriend, the one who spoke to me a night before and told me how much she loved me, the woman I was going to propose to in a few days was getting married to another! My life took a halt for the next few hours.

As expected, it took me a long time to get over this heartbreak, but eventually I did. In as much as heartbreaks are not one of the easiest experiences to get over, I am here to share some things that would hasten your healing process. They helped me and I am sure they would work for you too.

CRY IF YOU NEED TO: I know a lot of times, we want to act like we are strong and that heartbreak got nothing on us. See, you will only be hurting yourself because all you will end up doing is bottling up emotions which would in turn get you hurting than you already are. You need to understand that crying doesn’t make you weak, it only expresses that you are human. It is okay to show how vulnerable you were to the person and how he/she leaving has broken you down. The interesting thing is that, crying actually makes you feel better and you will have a sense of relief when you let it all out. I understand that some people find it difficult to cry even when they really want to, for people like that, I am sure there are other ways they express their pains. If you fall in that category, express your pain in that way you know how to. CRY IF YOU NEED TO. YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE HURT

HANG OUT WITH LOVED ONES: As much as it is okay for you to let out your pain, you cannot afford to wallow in self pity. In times like this, you should spend a lot of time with people who genuinely love you and would make you laugh. You can go out with friends, stay over at their houses or just do anything fun that will constantly take your mind away from the hurt that you feel. The more you engage in these activities, the more you will find yourself crawling out of your pain.

NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TILL YOU HEAL: The mistake many of us make is to get into another relationship when going through heartbreak, in a bid to get over the hurt. Unfortunately, that is the quickest way to get heartbroken all overbecause one of two things might happen; it is either you fall into the wrongs hands again because your judgment is most likely clouded or you use a good person as rebound and you eventually lose that person again.. A relationship is not an antidote for heartbreak.

AVOID EVERY MEMORY OF HIM/HER: To be honest, it becomes really difficult to let go when all you can think of are memories of you both, the places you went to, the pictures you took, the conversations you had etc. Things like this would only get you brooding and it is not good for your mental and emotional well being. You can archive these things and later on, when you feel you are emotional stable and healed, you can retrieve them.

MOVE ON: If there is one thing you owe yourself after weeks of emotional roller coaster, it is moving on. Regardless of how hurt you are, you must always remember that person you are about to kill yourself over is having fun somewhere and maybe with somebody else. As difficult as this might seem, it is the best thing for you to do. Do an analysis of that relationship, find out your weaknesses, try to work on them as you prepare to start all over again.

In all, make sure you don’t do anything you would regret while going through that phase. Avoid petty things like eating too much, watching emotional movies and songs etc. They would only slow down your healing process.

Always put it in mind that, you are an asset and you will get someone who deserves you.